So, I don't blog.
I don't have cute pics of children, festive recipes to share or a humdinger of a revelation. But I do have this:
I am a wicked-tired stay-at-home mother.
Can I say that in bloggyland? It's not comforting or funny or exciting and there's nothing redemptive about it... but it's true. I'm tired.
Each day I make choices to keep my day more simple and each day I'm completely humbled by how much craziness is in the air.
Snow pants. Seriously. Who knew snow pants would cause so much havoc?
And baby nap schedules. Or worse yet, skipping the nap.
A husband who is overly active in church.
A deep pang of grief at the loss of two people in my life.
A hellfire anger for the miscarriage of my friend.
Schedules. Responsibilities. Feeling lost.
It's too much. The prayers have barely left my mouth when another wave comes.
So my husband and I have been taking small steps towards sanity:
We decided to skip the company party.
And another Christmas get together.
We decided to watch a movie together at home. It took us three sessions and two days, but we finally finished a 2 hour movie we had been wanting to watch.
This morning I sat on my couch, opened the word of God and wept. I said a prayer in my heart that went something like this Christmas carol:
"Oh come, oh come, Emmanuel, and ransom captive Emily."
For everyone who asks receives,
and he who seeks finds,
and to him who knocks it will be opened.
Luke 11:10, The Bible
6 comments:
ditto
I often feel this way too-especially the baby nap schedules and the husband who is overly active in church. I just keep trying to remember that, this too, shall pass--someday when the schedule keeps us away from home, we'll be missing the baby nap schedule! Rest, and remember, we're only 4 minutes away! Call--I don't know if we'll help or make your life more crazy, but we're willing to try!
Beth
Oh Emily, thank you for the honesty of this post. I too haven't blogged very much for the very same reason. I could blog about cute stories or post cute pictures, but I don't always feel like that is a true picture of my life. I don't always want to paint a rosy picture (because it certainly isn't), but yet most things aren't appropriate to write about. So just know you are not alone, and thankfully I know I am not either.
PS You would think by the 3rd child, I'd have childrearing down, but this baby of mine has one messed up schedule.
Oh my dear sweet bloggyland friend! I completely understand (okay, so no kids, but losses at holidays and having waaaay too much to do, definitely!)
Don't give yourself a moment of "guilt" though- keeping it real, making time to put your family and friends first- to pray ceaselessly for those around you and to always make the time to sit with God- you are doing all of the RIGHT things. These are the things that really matter in the eyes of God- not all the manic holiday decorating and commercialism.
Take a deep breath, rest in the arms fo the Lord and the safety, familiarity and love of your family and celebrate your Christmas. Love ya and hope your new yeear starts in a fantastic way!
Thanks for sharing this, Em. You took the words straight out of my mouth. Love ya, girl!
Thanks sweet friends. You have no idea how much this meant to me. :)
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