Saturday

It's rare to have a nearly perfect day. But today (Saturday) was one of those days.

For starters, the weather was perfect. The temp stayed at 79 with a light breeze and was mostly sunny. Gorgeous.

Then, our subdivision had its annual Community Garage Sale. It seemed like everyone on our block participated. People were laughing. Children were riding bikes. Our street was nearly a parking lot with all the busy buyers. We loved the buzz.

Dan and I didn't have much to contribute to the yard sale, but we did throw together a Bake Sale for Morgan. Man, was that fun. I whipped up the famous Nestlé Tollhouse cookies (soft and chewy, of course), helped her paint a "Cookies 25 cents" sign and set her outside to rake in the dough.

Within the first 10 minutes of her sale Dan told me that I had better make another batch. They were flying off the table. We had lots of yard sale foot traffic, so that helped.

Dan used the opportunity to teach Morgan some math. It went something like this:

Dan: "Morgan, how many quarters are in one dollar?"

Morgan: "Twenty-five cents."

Dan: "Um, no. That's how much a quarter is worth. How many quarters are in one of these dollars?" He holds up 4 fingers.

Morgan: "Two cookies!" she says, jumping up and down. She's very proud of her answer.

Dan: "Okay, let's try another tactic. If someone buys ONE cookie from you and gives you ONE dollar, how many quarters do you give them back?"

Morgan: "One."

Dan: "No..."

Morgan: "Two."

Dan: "No..."

Morgan: "Three."

Dan: *sigh* "Yes, three. Okay, honey, nevermind. You did a good job."

And with that our little entrepreneur scampered off with her friends, having already sampled the product and needing to run off her sugar high.

*Grin* And this is only the START to summer.

And the Winner Is...

ShortStop... Congrats, Shortshop, on winning the $15 Baskin Robbins Gift Certificate.

Her answer to how she keeps her identity is:

"You know, I've been giving this some real thought. And honestly, it has never occurred to me that I could lose myself in my kids. Maybe it's because they're boys and I'm a girl and there is no way that I will ever be that drawn to dirt.

But, I think it is mostly because of Jason. He loves Sarah...is passionate about the girl - and he tells me that. He encourages me to do the things that I love, the things that I'm passionate about, and wants me to be and stay...well, me. I think he likes the Mommy me - but he gave his heart to the girl."

Family Vacations

I was just reading an article today about family vacations (of all things) and how kiddos tend to remember the TIME spent together rather than pomp and circumstance. 

Dan and I realize that our vacations have pretty much been limited to visiting family over the past years. This isn't bad, but we're ready to branch out a little and try a new adventure. Actually PLAN something.

Vacations fall in several categories:

There are the educational vacations. You know the ones. Visiting Gettysburg, for instance, and reading plaques about dead people. My history buff friends get a big kick out of large swaths of turf and reading material. Good for you. Me? Not so much.

There are the vacations that make you long for home. I call these vacations "camping". (Put your two cents in ANYTIME, Marc.) These are the vacations that require more work than, say, planning to feed a third world country. The latter, I suggest, may even be more fun. That being said, however, I fully intend Morgan to try camping and I may even accompany her on one occasion. In the name of parenting.

There are the vacations that remind you of Eden, a really refreshing time. Any vacation that takes place at a resort or the beach falls in this category. Lake beaches are very nice, but ocean beaches are the best. Sorry, that's just the way it is.

Growing up with 5 kiddos, my folks often had us spend time at my Aunt Dot's beach condo or go camping. There were a few vacations where we spent time going to Plymouth Rock (educational) but for the most part, we didn't emphasize leaving home a lot. Perhaps because it was so much work. haha. My parents did a great job.

Here are my top ten vacation memories:

1. The beach, the beach, the beach. 

-Love walking in the sand by the ocean. Love the salty air. Love seafood. 

-Putting on a wet bathing suit with sand in the crotch after getting sunburn. 

-Playing frisbee with Dad and my sibs on the sand during dusk, getting hot and then diving into the pool

- Diving for our light sticks at the bottom of the pool

2. I remember Mom and Dad taking Noel and I to Plymouth Rock and up the east coast. That was fun, but not for the reasons they think.

- I saw my first drunk person... cool

- We ate at a fancy restaurant. In shorts. We felt very grown up.

- We saw the Statue of Liberty from the road (bridge?) upon which we were driving. 

- We had time with Mom and Dad by ourself.

- I got $5 from my great-grandmother to spend and it nearly burnt a hole in my pocket. I bought a stuffed animal.

3. Okay, okay... there were SOME cool camping moments:

- S'mores. Mmmmm.

- Riding our bikes to the recreational centers to see wildlife and the occasional Scooby Doo movie.

- Boating with my Dad. Catching fish. Catching crabs.

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I'd love to hear about your family vacations.

Fertility Journey

Today we went to the fertility doc. 

Our doc is located a bit away. In heavy traffic, it takes 2 hours to get there. Normally it takes about 1-1/2 hours. 

At first I found the drive irritating, but now it's old hat and-- bonus-- Dan and I get to talk. Long, uninterrupted talks. We talk about the summer, about his work and about family. We talk about baby names. We talk about Morgan and we laugh a great deal. Actually, I laugh a great deal. Dan makes me laugh and laugh, even when I feel so sick.

I love going with Dan. I get an ultrasound every week. In the past weeks there was an intern at the clinic who would come to "observe". His name was "Dr. Sours". We LOVED to tease him because he is so quiet and professional.  And, of course, his name was just beckoning us to tease him. In a nice way. 

I offered Dr. Sours graham crackers as I noisily crunched away on the table. 

He declined.

I asked him if he had ever had a baby. 

He said no.

I clarified, "No, I mean... have you personally had a baby...You know... now with science allowing men to "supposedly" be pregnant."

He modestly answered no.

I had no intent of letting Dr. Sours observe me. I wanted him to entertain me.

Dr. Sours did not come back this week. *sigh* There went our fun.

Well, not totally. Dan manages to keep me in stitches. At one of our last appointments, we felt that our wait was too lengthy. We saw the cued up ultrasound machine and the, er, "thingy" they use to give ultrasounds. We were tempted. Dan claimed he had used an egg beater before and that it couldn't be much different than that. The staff must have heard us b/c they marched in pretty quickly after that. 

Today we not only saw the Petri Dish Love Child silhouette, but we heard a heartbeat. 152 beats per minute. That was very cool. 

Life is still very much a day-by-day adventure. I'm still not too keen on making plans for the baby in our future... it feels too premature and "not real". I've had well-meaning people offer me baby equipment, but I just can't do it yet. I haven't wrapped my brain around the fact that the IVF shots I took for those months and teasingly called "baby juice" actually produced something. It's too mind-boggling. 

So for now, I will enjoy just this day. 

The laughs I had with Dan. 

The music I heard in the ultrasound room. 

And the memories of dear Dr. Sours.

Blip

I had my first scheduled IV last week. Dan took me and sat with me for the two hours of drip, drip, drip. Have I mentioned his awesomeness?

Our nurse, Laurie, was amazing. She was the right mix of professional and compassionate. She wasn't too "versed in nurse" that she couldn't see the heavyness of the situation. And yet she got right to business. Loved her.

We got to talking with her. She asked me how many times I've been pregnant. This question always puts an immediate lump in my throat. Always. 

"Seven," I answered, "but we have one daughter at home," I add hopefully.

Laurie didn't miss a beat, "I was unable to have children at all. I adopted two. They're great." She smiled at me. 

When she left the room, I teared up. 

"Dan," I said, "that could be us. This whole fertility mess could be a blip on the timeline of life. One day we'll be able to say we had fertility trouble and we won't feel as much heavyness. We'll be able to smile. That could be us, Dan!"

I'm sure Laurie shed her share of tears and frustrations, but she gave me immense hope. I don't have to be defined by this. I can live on. Past miscarriages, past IVF shots, past IV drips. 

Meanwhile, my little one, my "petri dish love child" is doing a bang-up job of reminding me of its presence. The nausea is very present. I hope one day this little one will be, too.

__________________________

Some of you may know this, but Steven Curtis Chapman's youngest daughter was struck by an SUV and killed this past week. Please pray for them. It's so tragic.

Memorial Day Bloggy Giveaway

In honor of MEMORIAL DAY weekend, I'd like to host a give-away. That's right. My very first bloggy give-away.

REMEMBER WHEN...

1. If you're a parent, write about how you keep YOUR self from being absorbed into your CHILD's/CHILDREN's self. How do you keep your identity from melting into mounds of laundry and general housekeeping? What do you like about yourself that makes you you?**

2. If you don't have children, write about what makes you you. How do you identify yourself outside of your work? What influences have made you the wonderful person you are today?**

The prize (drumroll, please) is:
A $15 gift certificate to Baskin Robbins
(Happy happy, Joy joy)


If your answer to my post is super long, please just comment with the link to YOUR blog site or email me. The winner will be chosen based on a random draw on Friday, May 30.

**Okay, okay... lemme make this easier... What makes you feel ALIVE?

Why I Love Dan

My more local friends are aware of our new lifestyle lately. We've had to make some accommodations for the child I am affectionately calling our "Petri Dish Love Child". (Oh, c'mon. It's funny.)

I need a little humor right now because life is a bit on the challenging side.

I go in for weekly IV drips to help keep me hydrated. They're awesome, but they involve my hubby taking time out of his busy schedule.

And if that's not all, here's what else you'd observe about my awesome hubby if you were in our home:

- You'd see Dan single handedly raising Morgan in the evenings after a long day of work.

- You'd see him whipping up some quick dinner, first asking me if it would smell too bad for him to make. Eggs and toast?

- You'd hear him offering to sleep on the couch because he smells like onions to me.

- You'd see him making doctor appointments that interfere with his work schedule, but doing it anyway. Smiling.

- You'd see him quickly respond to my email pleas for Creme Saver candies. Sugar and sugar free. He picked them up on the way home.

- You'd see a lawn that needs a haircut because my husband is so dedicated to his family and job (out of town most of last week) that he can't quite get to it yet.

- You'd never see him complain or huff. Even in the middle of the night when I needed an orange creamsicle to keep down the yuckies.

So, here's to you, Dan... You're an amazing husband who shows me daily what it means to lay down one's life for a friend. I love you.