I had my first scheduled IV last week. Dan took me and sat with me for the two hours of drip, drip, drip. Have I mentioned his awesomeness?
Our nurse, Laurie, was amazing. She was the right mix of professional and compassionate. She wasn't too "versed in nurse" that she couldn't see the heavyness of the situation. And yet she got right to business. Loved her.
We got to talking with her. She asked me how many times I've been pregnant. This question always puts an immediate lump in my throat. Always.
"Seven," I answered, "but we have one daughter at home," I add hopefully.
Laurie didn't miss a beat, "I was unable to have children at all. I adopted two. They're great." She smiled at me.
When she left the room, I teared up.
"Dan," I said, "that could be us. This whole fertility mess could be a blip on the timeline of life. One day we'll be able to say we had fertility trouble and we won't feel as much heavyness. We'll be able to smile. That could be us, Dan!"
I'm sure Laurie shed her share of tears and frustrations, but she gave me immense hope. I don't have to be defined by this. I can live on. Past miscarriages, past IVF shots, past IV drips.
Meanwhile, my little one, my "petri dish love child" is doing a bang-up job of reminding me of its presence. The nausea is very present. I hope one day this little one will be, too.
__________________________
2 comments:
A blip...yes. I do think that it will indeed seem like that.
I have found that the blips in my life that represent struggles are precious, precious treasures. They changed me, molded me, and taught me to trust the One that holds my very days in His hand.
I wouldn't trade those blips for anything.
Not to sound cliche, but ditto to everything Sarah said. Truly, I wouldn't trade my blips either - as painful as they were at the time.
Post a Comment