Just when I thought I'd have a little breathing room with Morgan being at school, my arch-nemesis arrived: details and organization.
There's a lot of things I'm good at: I like sewing and cooking and graphics. I like the house generally cleaned up, but when it comes to nitty, gritty details my brain goes into "does not compute" mode... also known as "huh?"
The first day my daughter came home from school, I donned my best "How was your first day" smile. She responded with a "Fine. Can I play with my friends?" and thrust a folder with papers inside for me to peruse.
I signed, folded, copied in triplicate* and sent back all manner of school material back to her teacher. There is a "take home" side of the folder and a "send to school" side, I quickly learned. That should have been a red flag for me.
The next day Morgan came home with more papers. Papers with dates. Important dates. Words in bold print. Places to write our names and sign up for this and that. I gulped and put them on my kitchen counter. At one point, I couldn't see my kitchen counter for the waves of paper that had multiplied upon it. We were averaging 5-10 papers a day.
So I bought an organizer.
And a three ring notebook. The big kind.
This was war.
I promptly recycled or punched holes in the papers and claimed my kitchen counter back.
Every day the paper load seemed to increase. But I was ready for it.
And then, yesterday.... I heard forests of trees shriek as I opened her pack: School Fundraiser info. There were papers stapled on the front of the pack to entice you to open the pregnant envelope. There were papers telling me that there were other papers to look at in her pack that night.
I looked at the School Fundraiser packet and gulped. I can't think of a worse thing to do to my friends than to take the pack of papers that give me ulcers and shove them in their general direction with my cute, doe-eyed daughter as bait in the hopes that they'll give me paper back in the form of a check. What's more, the Fundraiser is selling, among other things: Wrapping Paper. Paper, paper, paper.
But wait, there's more:
Yesterday I received two pieces of communication from Morgan's school which said the same thing, once in email form and then, just in case I didn't want to go paperless... once in paper... that Morgan's class will not be attending a certain program. What? Why are they so paper happy?
I mean, of course I know the answer to all of this mayhem... probably a psychotic mother who loved her children a whole, whole bunch threatened to sue the school if they did not communicate ad nauseam about the programs her children would and would not be attending. And she probably threw in some "communication must be in paper form" clause because she was the wife of a logger.
*Breathe*
So there you have it. I'm hiding. If you have a problem with that, put it on paper.
* I jest, I jest.
5 comments:
Oh, Ems. Laughing, laughing, laughing.
I loathe paper. Paper is my nemesis. I can't keep on top of it and I *don't* have one in school. I give the mailman the evil eye every time he comes down the street.
Poor guy.
I know where to find you. SO, keep on hiding, if you must. You'll hear the click, click, click of my keyboard hunting you down! :)
I am laughing. I had to read this to Andrew. He is also laughing. I finally made a "Sampson Elementary" file folder in which to store "papers" that I might need to see again. Cailey's school is big on e-mails, so I also get many of those too. I got one the other day to tell me that they would not be showing Barack Obama's speech (on something) to the school but that it could be found online. I also got the same notice sent in the take home folder - on paper. : )
As someone who sells paper products, I find this post highly insulting! Just kiddin, Em! I know, I hate when Important Papers come that I have to do things with. Signing and dating and stapling... oh my.
Maybe you could start a green program at Morgan's school to help cut back on the paper being used. Just a thought.
Love ya lots, seester!
haha! Nicely said, my friend! It reminds me of the story my uncle tells about receiving pounds of paper describing the paperwork reduction act. That's irony for ya! Go figure!
And what a very smart idea to get the 3-ring binder!
Oh Emily, you have totally frightened me now. LOL. Ruthie started school today, so I'm fully expecting her to come home pushing a hand-truck full of copy paper boxes. Hope you are slowly finding your way out!
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