I am a racist. I am also an atheist, Jewish-antagonizer, sexist, legalist and extremely homophobic.
At least that's the lie I'm going to tell when the powers that be ask me if there is any reason why I should not be on jury duty. I got a summons today.
They must anticipate the groans because they have a bunch of mumbo jumbo on the paperwork which says that this is a civic honor. I wouldn't go that far. Winning a prize in ethics, that's a civic honor. Participating in elections, that is also an honor. But jury duty? Hardly. Granted, I'll get more money than I currently do, which is nothing. But the only people I can think of who appreciate jury duty are manipulative defendants and retired people. Or maybe history/political science buffs. But that's it. The general public does not shout "hurrah!" when they receive the summons. If it's such an honor, shouldn't it be printed on pretty paper with gentle graphics gracing its front: "Kind Citizen, You are Invited to Decide the Fate of Your Fellow Neighbor..." or something to that effect? Maybe Ed McMahon should deliver them with balloons.
They'll be sorry they summoned me. I'll make them sorry. "GUILTY" I'll shout before the court is in session. I'll wear fluorescent colors to irritate the attorneys. I'll write terrible slurs on the bottoms of my shoes so that when I cross my legs only the judge and defendant will see them.
Okay, I jest. And I should be ashamed of my behavior. To be fair, there is never a good and "slow time of life" in which to open a jury summons and respond, "My, I am so glad I get to be a part of this civic duty! Sign me up!" But in the end, I have to admit, I'm glad we have a democratic system.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment