There's something about being a nurturer that makes me want to be nurtured even more. Every time I hold my daughter's hair back to throw up (only once, thank goodness) or bathe my baby or make a special treat for afternoon snack (oops... how did those M&Ms get into your dry cereal mix?)... I want my momma. I want to be mothered, too.
I want her to say, "My goodness, what a good job you did today, feeding both girls."
I want someone to say that I did a good job making a small decision (Feed crying baby or spazzy 5-yr old?) or making a larger decision (Shower or nap).
I want someone to bring me cocoa when I'm cold and tired and to tell me that the economy and my friends are going to be okay... it was just a bad dream.
I want someone to drive me around and listen to me banter mindlessly about little funny thoughts going through my head.
I don't want to think about taxes or bills or how "ungreen" it is to use disposable diapers.
I want someone to tell me that--dangit-- breastfeeding is wonderful but it's also hard. And that every woman who gives herself to be a milk vending machine to another human being is wonder woman. Wonder woman, I tells ya.
I just want comfort. Affirmation. A bit of recognition would be okay, too.
I want someone to say that it's okay to not know the answers to everything, to not eat all my veggies once in a while and to acknowledge that day planners are for corporate executives, not for mothers of 6 week olds.
Oh, and while I'm at it, I'd like to be told that I look pretty, even though I smell like beautiful baby vomit and my hair is the shape of the last thing I laid upon. Pretty. Like a flower.
I want my momma.
5 comments:
oh sweetheart! you are beautiful, inside and out, and everything WILL be okay because the One we serve has promised to supply all of our needs and give us the desire of our hearts.
May God bless your days with peace, joy, and contentment.
Oh Em! All these things are true! I'm very glad to be able to tell you that just having your mom close by does not get you all of these things. I have to rely on my friends as well as my family to get me through all my decisions every day. Of course, it helps that my husband is such a wonderful man, just like yours. Rely on him, he won't let you down.
Beth
I have wanted my Momma and ALL of those things every time I birthed a baby. And, nursing - you ARE Wonder Woman - it is HARD work and you are a champ for sticking with it.
I often wonder if Eve needed went a searchin' for bigger and more comfortable fig leaves after she began birthing babes. 'Cause dang, can you imagine only having *fig leaves* covering up the post babyness.
You are a beautiful Momma, Em. Inside and out.
I am SO with you! Breastfeeding is hard work! If it weren't so rewarding or if I hadn't wanted to be able to do it so much I would have given up by now (as I pump while at work). I can very much relate about the way I look/feel post baby. I just keep looking in Paige's eyes and try not to think about the changes by body has made. One day maybe I'll get back to . . . Hang in there my friend. You're not alone. Love, Kathryn
Completely and totally and 100% agree. This is a lovely post.
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