Dirty Little Secrets

Today I read a book called "Dirty Little Secrets". It's about mothers. Doing things they wouldn't want others to see. And admitting it.

Before I became a mother: I blamed children's tantrums on the parent's lack of discipline.
After becoming a mother: I sigh with relief upon seeing other children throw tantrums as wild as my daughter's two-year old phase.

Before: A good time with my husband meant rock wall climbing or canoeing.
After: Bed. 8pm. Watching Simpsons.

Before: I wondered how women could become so lax in their parenting.

After: I have let my daughter have cookies. For breakfast. And only cookies.

Before: Seeing my husband across a crowded room made my heart pitter-patter.

After: Seeing my husband walk in the door for dinner is the most exciting sound of the day.

Before: I cringed at children who had mismatched clothes.

After: I still like Morgan to dress nicely, but most days my only qualification for clothing is that they are season appropriate.

Before: I thought waddling, pregnant women were cute.

After: I think other waddling, pregnant women are cute. 

Before: I was horrified at the thought of having a male ob-gyn.

After: I'd rather have a male than female. They can't empathize, so they can't criticize. :)

Before: I thought newborns were easy, cute and adorable.

After: Cute? Yes. 

Adorable? Yep. 

Easy? Heck no.

Whenever I see a new, deer-in-headlights mom, I make a point to TELL her that her child is adorable so that she'll remember that SHE thought newborns were cute, too, at one point. Which is why she is in this mess. *wink*

Before: I was concerned that children would change my life.

After: Duh.

Before: I thought baby equipment and toys were the only things kids like to play with.

After: I realize my daughter's motto is: "What's yours is mine. What's mine is also mine."

Before: I was scared of labor and delivery.

After: I'm scared of not going into labor.

Before: I thought a good mother would carefully plan out a day just like preschool teachers do.

After: Sometimes being a good mom means taking time to oneself. While one's child watches TV. For two hours.

Before: An older gentleman convinced me that being a stay-at-home mother was a privilege and offered many hours for running errands, chasing sales and making meals easily.

After: Being a stay-at-home mother is a privilege. It's also the hardest, most rewarding, frustrating and enjoyable job I have ever had. 

Before: I had a friend who had a newborn. Shortly after she suffered with severe baby blues. She called up church people to take her newborn for the day. She didn't want to be anywhere near her child. I thought she was odd.

After: Never, never underestimate the power of hormones. I don't think I honestly started to like being a mother until Morgan was 2. Maybe 3.

Before: I shuttered at the newly born, unclean child.

After: If I could pull this child out of my body right now with my bare hands and kiss her, I would.

Before: I hated double talk.

After: I have actually had a talk with my daughter about the importance of eating healthy breakfast food while I took a spoon to the ice cream container.

Before: I didn't like how Angeli*na Jol*ie only managed to find men who were already taken.

After: I began to see her other "nice" qualities: gorgeous, extremely fertile, rich, privileged and--most importantly-- makes motherhood and giving birth look easy. It's go time, Jol*ie. You're going down.