Insomnia

It's 4am. The insomnia started at 2, but I managed to force myself to stay in bed for those hours.

But now I have relinquished all thoughts of sleep.

My last few days of pregnancy with Morgan were similar, as I recall. Insomnia. Sleeping in strange positions in various places: the living room, the recliner and, on occasion, our bedroom.

I find particularly humorous the lack of filter on my priorities. For some reason, the need to provide for my family leads me to waking at some dark hour with the following thoughts:

- "Cottage Cheese!"
- "Buy cloth labels with Morgan's name on them for school."
- "Must. Decorate. Living Room."

I awake ready to hit the ground running with my aimless mind vomit. Fortunately Morgan keeps me on schedule with little reminders: "Can I have breakfast, Mom" she asks, interrupting my thoughts on why I MUST get my toes painted before the baby arrives.

My favorite television shows are a little detrimental to my mental well-being of late. I Iove to watch home decorating or home improvement programs. But my thought life is in overdrive. If the designer is claiming that "art, art, art" is what will make or break this particular room's design, I can't stop thinking about it. Which is probably why I bought that painting at Home*Goods yesterday. (Smile.)

My husband is generally the receiver of these mood swings and thought patterns but he benefits as well. I'm cooking quite a bit. Plus, in a fit of organization, I felt compelled to call a contractor to get a quote on installing a much needed laundry tub in our basement. This tub would be used for utility reasons, of course, but would also benefit Dan's brew station... an easy source of water for cleaning and brewing.

I'm not all bad.

The truth is that, at the end of the day, my mind simply cannot compute the great joy and anticipated responsibility of a new little life bellowing her way into this world and my aching arms. So for now I dink around with projects which I deem of immediate and utmost importance, waiting for her to quiet my thoughts.