Two Bedroom, Two Bath Home. Three Year Old Conveys.

I have no idea how we are going to sell our home.

Dan and I are hoping to put our house on the market in the next few months. We have some touch up work to do. Considering that lately I can barely keep up with cleaning it, we're hosed. I figure that I've been able to maintain the basic disorder we found it when we returned from Christmas. But there's something magnetic about children and order; they're attracted to it. They want to destroy it.

I marveled tonight as my daughter discovered a fun way to eat her rice dinner. If she stuck her bare elbow in the rice, it would stick. And then, what fun! She gnawed and licked her elbow until some morsels reached her mouth, the others reached the floor.

And there's something about the back room mirror. It seems the MOMENT I clean it nice and shiny, she finds a way to put her imprint upon it. Recently, she found licking it to be satisfying. It was humorous. I was on the phone, having just shined the mirror and Morgan comes into the room and, magnetically possessed by the mirror's perfection, applies her tongue all over the lower half. She giggled at herself in the mirror doing so. I don't recall who I was on the phone with, but I do remember growling.

My friend Ann has twin boys and her stories ALWAYS top mine. She puts me in stitches. Last week her 3-year old boys found the shredded paper bin (oh no!) and proceeded to empty it, make SNOW ANGELS in it and (wait, there's more!) then they messed their pants and it stuck to their bodies.

She also tells a story which begins, "Does Sharpie marker come out of things?" to which I reply, "There's a reason they're called permanent." We've both sworn to ONLY buy washable Crayola markers. They're wonderful.

So if anyone has any way to keep me from joining Merry Maids with me as the sole client, I'd appreciate some tips on selling a home and still keeping a three year old intact.

Meanwhile, the advertisement will read: Two Bedroom, Two Bath Bungalow. Washer, Dryer and Three-Year Old Convey.