Tyra's Wisdom

I just noticed that Tyra Banks is in the news. I didn't bother to see why she was in the news because I am SO unimpressed with her. Did you notice my capitalization? SO unimpressed.

I had the misfortune to land on her show several months ago while innocently surfing for other channels. I can't recall why I actually watched the five minutes that I did, but it was a mistake. I guess I thought that I'd like to hear a super model speak. Or maybe I wanted to know if their years of eating disorders would affect their speech or brain activity. (Stuttering or Tourettes would be entertaining.) Enough excuses. I watched.

Tyra has her own talk show and I think she thinks she is the second Oprah. She's black and she's a woman, but she's no Oprah.

Her guest was a tall blond woman in her early twenties who was looking to break into modeling. Naturally she'd like to speak to Tyra. She had had enough experience to have a folio but since her day job required her to work the 9-5 (when she would need to show up for photo shoots) she didn't know how to reconcile the two worlds. How to pay the bills and pursue modeling.

I'm so glad she went to Tyra. So I could laugh. Tyra's got legs but the woman is stupid when it comes to, say, other people.

Tyra actually told this young woman that if she really wanted to pursue modeling, she should do WHATEVER it took to do it. Including quitting her job. Aghast, the guest asked Tyra how she would pay her rent. Tyra avoided the question, telling her to seize her dream. "But I'll have no place to live." More dream-filling vomit-talk.

Then we TV viewers were told to hold on because, after the commercial break, Tyra had a special gift for this young budding model. I'm so glad I waited. Ms. Banks told her that every good model needed a good wardrobe. (Cue crescendoing music leading to large wardrobe giveaway.) Ms. Banks gave this woman her wardrobe starter, alright. A $6 wife beater from Kmart. That's right, this doe-eyed, hopeful youth was expecting a trousseau and Ms. Banks gave her slut-wear. She then proceeded to tell her that all she needed was a pair of jeans, this tank and some heels to get her modeling gigs. Please. Maybe if she was a hooker. But she was a model which, granted, is only one step away from prostitution, but still.

I'm still disturbed by Ms. Banks' ticket to homeless-ville advice. And the woman? We can only hope that poor thing went to Oprah afterward. At least Oprah dresses her guests.