Today I looked at photos of Morgan when she was first born. I recalled my rush of feelings at seeing her:
How beautiful!
Did I really deliver THIS?
She can't be mine!
Supposedly I'm the expert here.
I laughed at the time I went to the nursery after she was delivered and oooed and aahed over her from the nursery window. I asked the nurse to bring her out and then realized that I had been looking at the wrong baby; the nurse picked up another baby-- my baby. I felt insecure and sheepish for not knowing which one was mine. :)
I remember hearing my macho husband turn to butter the instant she was born... singing to her and using a voice 2 octaves above middle C. *swoon*
I reminisced about having my mother in the delivery room with me. So special.
I remembered fondly that my in-laws drove into town the next day to see the new little addition. I laughed when my very sweet and somewhat docile mother-in-law demanded of her husband, "John! You give me that baby!" because he was holding her too long. From them on I knew that this little one would be well protected and loved by all her grandparents.
I giggled at the thought of our car ride home: Dan and I rode silently, absolutely awestruck and terrified by the little bundle in the back seat. And I still laugh at how I thought Morgan's newborn slouchy head was keeping her from breathing; I sat in the back seat and held her head up when we drove to a church function. hehe
I marvel at the maternal instinct I had even though I thought I didn't have it: When a dog threatened to attack Morgan and I on a stroller ride (she was only a few weeks old), I threw my body over Morgan and stuck out my left leg for the dog to chew. Shortly after I realized that the dog was indeed chained and I had nothing to fear. My left leg was grateful.
And now as I start to wonder how I'll allow room in my life for this new little one, I think I'll take a page out of Morgan's philosophy: "Your heart stretches, Mom."
You're right, Morgan. So right.
4 comments:
Ohhh...those are precious memories. Brings back a few of my own!
That is very sweet, a warm way to start my morning. I don't have any children but from what I have heard you will have all the same feelings with just a much love this time around. Its God's miracle that our hearts can grow and love so much.
Oh wow! Just when you think little children only say the funny, weird stuff, out comes that!
Wow. I got butterflies :)
May you be just as blessed the 2nd time as you were the 1st time.
This is such a wonderfully sweet, and touching post, Emily. Something you can one day show your new baby how you were feeling right before she arrived. Morgan seems very wise for her 5 years. :)
Post a Comment