Thursday, January 22, 2009

Random Motherhood Thoughts

Random, random thoughts I have about motherhood:

1. Magazines are inspiring. They inspire me to live vicariously through them. 

2. What is more likely: 
a. Successfully returning an item that has been accidentally dragged through slush
or
b. Successfully returning an item which has no tags due to Miss Scissorhands?

3. I blog to know I'm not alone.

And a little something for the Hubs (Who I adore):

1.  When I can't find something, I HAVE to blame others first. If I realize that I'm losing it, I'll never regain my sanity. Take the blame and everyone will be happy.

2. How do I spell sexy? 
T-A-K-I-N-G   O-U-T   T-H-E   T-R-A-S-H

3. As a matter of fact, pearl earrings DO go with sweatpants. I'm glad you like them.

4. I have no idea how a mega bag of Skitt*les ended up in my shopping cart. (This is the part where you take the blame.)

5. Sorry... I traded in the tatas for these lactose producing missiles. Approach with caution.

6. Before marriage, I couldn't wait to go to bed with you. Now I can't wait to go to sleep with you. There is a difference.

7. When you come home at night, you have your choice of one out of three:
a. A super sexy wife
b. A clean house
c. Clean, well fed children

Keep in mind that "sexy" means "showered", 
"clean house" means "the right side of the kitchen sink is empty"
and
"clean, well-fed children" may just mean that they ate Cheerios and watched TV.
Your choice.

3 comments:

Short Stop said...

Laughing. So. Hard.

Love your notes to Dan. Oh, and the tatas...still cracking up.

I miss you! We need to trek over your way!

Jenni S. said...

Oh my gosh Emily, this had me rolling. Loved it! Especially the end with the caveats for "s.exy," "clean house," and "well fed."

Anonymous said...

I love pearl earrings, and I have lots of prove it! They go with anything. :-)