Staging

Dan and I are hoping to put our house on the market in the next month or so. We have a few problem areas to fix in our house (MORE moulding?) but on the whole I thought it looked okay. Now my realtor wants us to stage.

If you're unfamilar with staging your house for resale, it's pretty much what you'd expect. You put items in your house that you may or may not normally put there to make your house more desirable, like setting a stage.

Now one can either hire an interior designer to the tune of approximately $3000 or one can raid TJMaxx of all their home goods and place them stragtegically around the home. I can safely say that my house looks like Pier 1 sneezed here.

I bought a boat load of random baskets, glassware, wooden bowls and faux plants to put around my house. To my realtor's credit, it looks better. I had to put some eyesores away. So long, insurance forms on the kitchen counter. Hello, fake greenery. It looks good. I even want to rebuy my house now.

But I feel like the house is a little too perfect. Perhaps I should replace our family photos with that of Ken and Barbie. Paint the inside pink and buy matching plastic pink furniture. Morgan's room is really only one shade away from that vision, so I'm not too far off.

And while we're at it, if Dan and I would stop shedding skin cells, I could stop dusting. And if Morgan would stop wanting to PLAY with toys then we wouldn't have so many to pick up all the time. (Man... hasn't she SEEN the Pottery Barn Kids catalog? Those children LOVE organization. Their toys even coordinate with their rooms, for Pete's sake.)

And while we're staging, I think I'll start scripting as well:
Dan: Hello, dear! It's so nice to be home. (Peck on cheek.)
Emily: Oh, darling! I'm so glad you're home. I made your favorite roast.
Morgan: Hello, Father. How glad I am that you have arrived safely. (Peck on cheek.) I'll be in my room reading books should you like to join me.
Dan: Get me my slippers, wife! I'm bone tired.
Emily: What? You lazy bum...

I'm not sure if our house will sell or not, but if a buyer puts "staging materials to convey" on the contract, I think I'd have to deny it. I LIKE being a poser.