Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Five Years in Parenting: Things I've Learned

1. The amount of fun a child has with their parent(s) is inversely proportional to how much money was spent on said fun. 
Spending $85 to see a famous childrens' singer, for example, will yield 90% less fun than just giving your child a free, empty fridge box for play.

2. It's okay to have expectations for the day, just keep them very, very low.
or
My idea of fun for my daughter may not be her idea of fun. (See point #1)

3. If chocolate sprinkles on oatmeal is a special treat and you serve it every time you have oatmeal, it is no longer a special treat. 
Therefore, invest in chocolate sprinkles. 

4. Take your errand list for the day and choose one thing that you'd like to get done for the day. If you get 10% of that errand done, you're a success. 
Okay, I exaggerated. It's more like 20%.

5. Choose ye this day whom you will serve: a pristine looking child, or the one who rolls her entire body in a water puddle and, in effect, absorbs the whole thing into her clothing. It's your choice.

6. I'm not a short order cook. 
Everyone is served the same food at dinner.

7. The amount of fun a child has with a toy is inversely proportional to the instructions that came with the toy. 
If the toy came with no instructions, it will be used for 25 years with multiple purposes. 
If the toy came with short instructions, it will be used 1 time for the use intended and then mixed with the non-instructions toys. 
Long instruction toys have no chance; return them.

8. Washable. Markers.

9. Play-doh does not play well with carpet. 
That's why it's called Play! D'oh!

10. Any chore can be made into a game given the right marketing.
And you don't need a degree from Kellogg. *wink*

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree with #1 for younger children.....Carissa used to love to play with measuring cups and spoons, coasters, and tupperware containers instead of the big Christmas presents she received. However, when they get older, all they want are the expensive "toys"....iPod, cell phone, laptop, etc.

Sheryl said...

My sister has a friend who's a vegetarian. My mom always said she was more than welcome to come over for dinner, but that she was serving what she was serving and nothing more. If my sister's friend didn't like it, she could starve or bring her own food to eat :)

carey said...

Love the list. Oh. So. True.

Kris said...

Oops didn't realize I was posting as the Hubs at first.

Love the list. Oh. So. True

Jenni S. said...

Yup, yup, and yup. We have learned and/or are in the process of learning pretty much all of these. I'm planning on stealing Sarah's whole 6 things I've learned thing (with due credit, of course) so this gives me more to think about too. :)