Free

I like free things. But only if they're GOOD free things. And, if you're within a 10 foot radius of anyone from the Depression Era, you may want to let them in on this little secret, too. Go ahead. Grab that older gentlewoman, help her hold her regular purse and her coupon purse so she can get this valuable information.

Here it is: If you contact a company with a praise or complaint of one of their products, chances are very good that they will give you free product.

It started when I contacted WishBone a while back about the design of their salad dressing bottle. I asked if they had considered another design for the top because whenever I craved their dressing, I would have to endure a thumb piercing good time. I think the cap actually drew blood on one occasion; it quite literally had "fangs". So I wrote the company and told them that I loved their dressing, but didn't appreciate the unanticipated blood draw. They asked for my address and gave me many coupons for free product and many more coupons for dollar off, etc. "Hmmmmm," I thought, "I must use my powers wisely." I immediately called my grandma in Florida and walked her through the process.

A year or so ago I contacted Unilever. Morgan decided to slather her already soft skin with 13 oz. of Vaseline Petroleum Jelly. I frantically called them to see how I could get the product off her body, clothes, hair and bedspread. They were VERY kind and sent more free product. Naturally, I did NOT buy more Vaseline. In fact, Vaseline is not allowed with a city block of our house. But Unilever has a lineup of products that's longer than a game of Dutch bingo. Ding! We have a winner! If memory serves I got some free detergent, too.

Recently I wrote Meijer about their terrible spelling on a product. More free coupons. I wrote McCormick and got about $5 in free coupons.

I did call Connie's Pizza (you know the pizza in the frozen food section?) to tell them that I liked a certain pizza they had and they were dumbfounded. They actually did not know what to do with that information and said something to the effect of "That's nice." Uh-huh. Note to me: Connie's Pizza needs better marketing or, barring that, a heartbeat.

Now, are there any downfalls to this process, you may be thinking. Well, they will have your address so you will be receiving occasional coupons or recipes in the mail. That's not so bad. And you may want to look at the parent companies family of products b/c you will most likely be receiving mail from all their companies. I have not been bombarded, however.

So there you go. You can't say I never gave you anything. Happy Birthday and Merry Christmas.