Funny Dan and Emily Story

It's time to blog about something much more exciting than pregnancy talk. These stories can probably be filed under "too much information", but sometimes the midwest needs a little TMI to rattle its cornfed modesty. *wink*

To Kiss or Not to Kiss (No kissing is described in this post. Silly reader.)

When Dan and I were newly dating, there was that awkward "when to kiss goodnight" stage. I can't even remember if we had had "the talk" about our relationship yet, but I remember the night when we were talking on my front porch for, like, an hour. Or two. A long time.

The weather was getting cool in Maryland: Dan was wearing a plaid flannel shirt. It must have been around December because for some reason there were small pine tree clippings sitting beside the front porch... probably from a wreath or Christmas tree.

In any event, the awkward moment came when we had to say goodnight. 

I was crazy about Dan but not ready for the kissing and not sure if he was either. In a moment of sheer genius, I decided to pick up some of the pine clippings and tuck them in Dan's shirt pocket. (I know: huh?) The idea, gentle reader, was that I was trying to gently push him away whilst filling his pocket with, um, evergreen. In retrospect, it was just plain strange.

I didn't know if he got the idea that I was pushing him away or not, so I continued this process of adding a spring of fragrance to his shirt pocket while thinking that I was pushing him away.

I was so suave.

After several minutes of  decorating poor Dan, his shirt pocket was bursting forth with a mini Christmas tree all its own. It was enormously evergreen.

Dan's only parting gift that evening was a pocket full of Christmas. For some reason I thought my plan, well, worked.

Years later, Dan confessed to me that he thought I was flirting with him and wanted to be kissed as a RESULT of the evergreen pocket filling.