From Miss Carriage to Miss Understood

A Christian friend of mine were talking about miscarriage. She and I had reached a similar place in our infertility life as it related to spirituality: neither of us wanted to desperately moan about begging God for a child. We wanted to be women of faith. If God wanted us to have children, we would accept it. If God wanted us to not have children, we would learn to accept that as well. But it's this fuzzy gray "loss" area that is difficult to accept.

In any case, my friend said something profound: She said that some things were worth fighting for.

While it may not seem it, that is exactly what women of infertlity do: they fight for the hope they have with the anticipation that it will materialize into a little person. The Christian walk is a little more delicate because we're told in Scripture to be content with what God gives us: how to reconcile the two worlds of "fighting" and "contentment"?

Today I received a Scripture verse that gave me great comfort in this arena: Isaiah 43:13: "There is no one who can deliver out of My hand; I work, and who will reverse it?"

The Scripture is in God's voice. No one can take anything from God's hand. This is a one-two punch for women who struggle with miscarriages. The medical community has some pretty uncomplimentary names for us: habitual aborter is one. And the word "miscarriage" itself suggests that a woman dropped a baby of her own volition. Both names are terrible labels to give a post-pregnant woman.

But this Scripture puts it all in God's hands: "When I work, who will reverse it?"
KARATE CHOP.
"There is NO ONE who can deliver out of My hand."
KA-POW.
The terrible nominations slide off my back and leave me strong, clean and brave.
(This is the part where you say "Preach it!")
No one can take deliver from God's hand. No one.

I've been borrowing these terrible names from the medical community for a while now. But I don't need them anymore. I'm just Emily, child of God. Just like my babies.