I need help. It's a mothering issue.
When you tell your child, "(Here is the answer to your request)" and they keep bringing up other alternatives again and again or not accepting your answer, what do you do? More importantly, how do you convey to your child that this is your FINAL answer?
Sometimes I feel like such a harsh mother. I try not to say "NO" to everything and when the answer is "NO", I try to say it in such a way that it doesn't feel like a "NO". (Ex: "I'd love to go to the pool, Morgan, but right now it's our quiet time.")
However, sometimes a final "I'm sorry, no" needs to be said.
Additionally, it seems that our culture is not too accepting of saying the word "no" even once in a while.
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Please note: There are a lot of wonderful qualities about my daughter; I'm not saying this to make her look badly. I'd just like to know how others address this issue which I've seen in my child and others.
I'm having flashbacks to my childhood when I kept doing this to my mother. :)
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4 comments:
Not sure what to tell you, because we are going through the same thing with Kyra. I know I've been harsh at times. I get tired of the "but why?" over and over. She's gotten to the point now where, if she asks no for the umpteenth time and I give her a look (like don't you dare ask again), she will say a reluctant "okay mom."
This is a tough one. We often have the same situation. I've tried to let my first answer be my only answer. If they ask again, I say, "We've already discussed this" Or "We're done talking about this now." It took several times for Josh to get it, but soon he would just deal with the answer given. Ellie is a work in progress.
I do like how you talk about not just saying no. Saying why you can't go to the pool let's them know what you're thinking. Hope that helps.
Oh, boy. I am right here in the trenches with you on this one. Jack is a negotiator extraordinaire. For us, the only way to communicate an absolute no to him these days is with the threat of punishment. Time out, spank.ing, to his room, etc.
This is VERY hard on me EVERY DAY! We go through many rounds of it, and it's completely draining. I know just how you feel.
I'm right there with you too. Anna is our great negotiator and she's only 3. I do a couple of things.
1. I give her choices and tell her they are the only choices she's getting and if she doesn't choose, I'll choose for her.
2. I also do the "we've already discussed this and you know what the answer is." Although, I still get the question 50 times so sometimes I just stop answering.
3. And finally, I just started telling them that my answer will not change and they need to move on to something else. If they refuse, we begin to discuss punishments like Shortstop mentioned.
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